A few things you shouldn’t ask me to do….
March 30, 2014


                                                                                                                                                Via: Flickr

Somebody remarked that they liked my “25 things about me” post, then they suggested that I write a list of things I don’t like, but that sounded too depressing, so I came up with something else;

A few things you shouldn’t ask me to do….

1-Feed your goldfish. This is the same as asking me to kill your goldfish. More like involuntary fish slaughter, but the fish is still dead either way.

2-Hang drywall. I can do it. Actually, I’m not bad at it. But more than happy to pay someone to do this for me.

3-Go hunting. I spent too many years “in the woods” with a rifle. The thrill of bagging Bambi’s daddy pales next to the possibility opportunity guarantee of getting shot at by an idiot hunter. Been shot at enough, thank you.

4-Watch baseball. While I do admire the athletic skill of the players, the game moves at the speed of smell. If they ever give the pitcher a time limit let me know, I’m there.

5-Wear a tie.

6-Eat Brussels sprouts. I don’t care if you wrap them in bacon, I classify them as little balls of evil.

7-Work on a transmission. If you disassemble a transmission you will find that it has the same number of parts as a space shuttle.

8-Watch anything that has Kardashian in the title.

9-Clean fish.

10-Drive more than three hours with children in the car, unless they are sleeping, or drugged, or drugged and sleeping.

11-Go without coffee. I really don’t like to, and you don’t want me too either.

12-Spell something for you. Yes, I write books, doesn’t mean I can spell.

13-Go to Walmart.


15-Not write. Wanna meet Randall McCrankypants? Quick way to do so.

About author


Randall Wood is the author of the popular Jack Randall series of thrillers as well as several short stories surrounding the main characters.

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