3AM Not a-mused…
March 9, 2014


                                                                                         Via: Flickr

“Hello? Heeellllooo? HELLO!”


“AWAKEN I SAY! I am your muse and I demand that you wake up and listen to me!”

“Dude….it’s like 3am.”

“Time cares not for the written word! I have an IDEA! Write this down or I will never speak to you again!”

“Uh, really? You’ve been doing this since I was twelve.”

“You really want to test me on this?”

Sigh. “Okay, there; I’m up. What’s the big idea?”

“There’s this guy see and he’s at an amusement park with this girl; she may or may not be a vampire, or maybe a high-functioning zombie, I’m not sure yet, and then some black helicopters show up and the guy in the duck suit has a machine gun, but he can’t hit the midgets on their Great Danes because they’re so frickin fast see, and then the food court runs out of General Tso’s chicken so they mug the frozen pizza guy when he shows up with the truck. Then the helicopters land and the Nigerian princes jump out armed with spam…”


“Yeah, cans of meat. It’s a metaphor, or something. Anyway they start taking out the midgets with high-speed headshots of thrown meat, and the guy tries to run but the girl likes spam so…”

“Is there a plot in here somewhere?”

“Absolutely! Its…its…let’s see, I had a plot thing a minute ago…”


“Yes! I’m almost sure of it.”

“Can I go back to sleep now?”

“No, no, just stare at the ceiling fan for a few hours, I’m sure I’ll remember by then.”




About author


Randall Wood is the author of the popular Jack Randall series of thrillers as well as several short stories surrounding the main characters.

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There are 2 comments

  • Jim Self says:

    I got a little confused somewhere in there, but now I know Spam is made of midgets.

    • Randall says:

      I’m just repeating what she said, it didnt make sense then either. 🙂

      You need an avatar, my freind. Go to my links page and click on Gravatar. Takes two minutes and its free.